Perception is 9/10th’s of the Flaw

I’m going to ask you to dig around for your “right-brain” passport and take a make-believe hop across the pond with me to the University of the West of Scotland’s Paisley campus. The mini-course/experiment we will participate in together has only one prerequisite and that is that you pretend, for the sake of our experiment, that I am the one person in your life who has done nothing to let you down; has only ever been honest with you; has always had your best interest in mind; and never fails to use every opportunity you give me to further our relationship by means of shared love, wisdom, and devotion. I’m pretty fantastic, huh?!? The point is you have faith in me completely, utterly, and wholly…or so you should. So, if you’ll allow your mind’s eye to make that stretch, we will continue our journey…

After viewing what I’m sure is a gorgeous campus, imagine you find yourself standing in front of a door. Before we enter, I, in my unfailing honesty, assure you that the room we are about to walk into has the potential to be frightening, challenging, and disorienting; and, yet, I will not leave you, you will come out whole and with a new understanding. I assure you that no matter what your senses may tell you, the reality of the room is greater. I ask you to just be still and trust; and, in time, we will see ourselves out of the room. This being said, the door is opened.
As the door swings wide, a doubt so strong settles within you that as you take that first step forward a powerful fear captivates you and you are instantly blinded without even a glimpse of your surroundings. Panic explodes like a bomb in your chest, and the hysterical blindness causes you to stumble forward and land on your face. You cry out; and, in that moment, when you hear your own voice a bone-terror invades every functioning system of your body. In that same instant, every single thing your available senses perceive indicate that I lied to you.

You are so consumed in your horror you don’t feel my attempts to help pull you from the floor and in your hysteria you even fight me. Your own screaming mind has rendered my quiet reassurances and pleas inaudible. You exhaust yourself with your maddening frenzy by stumbling about and raging against what you cannot see. Finally, after thrashing about and screaming has only proven to cause you injury and to amplify your considerable terror; you lie still, your chest heaving from the exertion of your fear-driven adrenaline rush, and a paralyzing silence settles over you. You have now completely dismissed everything I’ve told you, and you begin to worry about what you now believe to be true. You have deduced that you are in a small enclosed space, and you shudder at the thought that it may be a coffin. Having forgotten the initial fall, the flailing and your on-hands-and-knees attempts to find an escape; you allow your ears to tell you that the space is so small it isn’t even physically possible that I am with you. Your ears tell you that you probably only have about two inches of room on any side of you. You begin to worry that you’ll run out of oxygen before anyone finds you.

It is in this quiet moment of desperation that you come to the end of yourself and call out for your faithful friend, Beth. And, in this moment of stillness and seeking, you feel my cool hand brush across your forehead…and you know that I am. I am with you, I never left you, and I have been intervening on your behalf through it all…And (blink, blink, blink) with this realization, your hysterical blindness vanishes as quickly as it appeared. You look into my eyes and see the truth. You reach for me and I help you to your feet; and, with your eyes opened, you are able to see the reality of the room you were in. A realization as bright as the dawn makes you feel ashamed, because you know that it wasn’t I who lied to you. The lie existed in only what you perceived with your senses…because the room’s reality was greater than your perception.

Thank you for flying AirBeth, you may now disembark...please do not leave your "right-brain" in the overhead compartment because I foresee you needing it in your personal overhead compartment for the remainder of...your life.


The experience I just described is possible because the room I described does exist. It is the 97% Anechoic Chamber at Paisley University's Ayr campus. Just a quick trip into the science and purpose of the chamber…It is a fifteen by ten room that is designed to be used in acoustics to conduct experiments in nominally “free field” conditions. Such rooms are designed so that all sound will travel away from a source with nearly no sound reflecting back. Common experiments in an anechoic chamber include testing the noise radiation from industrial machinery or measuring the transfer function of a loudspeaker. Anechoic Chambers on a less efficient and smaller scale are recording studios or, in my personal experience, a radio broadcasting studio. It was while reading about anechoic chambers that I had this nightmarish thought about what it would be like to stumble into such a place unawares. Scientists who work within these rooms will readily admit the disturbing quality of the atmosphere and say that they regularly experience disorientation and loss of balance. (For an interesting article, go here. http://gizmodo.com/5372268/microsofts-anechoic-chamber-the-place-where-sound-goes-to-die)

Not long after I read about anechoic chambers I began to dwell on the spiritual implications of sensory perception vs. reality –or- our natural ability to perceive “reality” vs. our spiritual eyes’ capacity to recognize a “God-reality.” This has really stirred me up because, like everyone, there are situations in my life where this corporeal flesh of mine can take one look and doubt, panic, and bone-terror begin to captivate me…But, when I’m still and know, that HE is GOD, that he’ll never leave me (Hebrews 13:5), that he has my best in mind (Jeremiah 29: 11), and that my destiny in his kingdom is unlimited by and will likely supersede my circumstances (Story of Joseph in Genesis 37-), then my spirit is unrestricted and can begin to grasp the awesome way that destiny and purpose can unfold in God’s Kingdom. I become frustrated with myself and ashamed when I find myself doing what I can’t stand to be done to me to God…trying to shove his unfathomably, incomprehensibly creative and good nature into a box fashioned in the limited dimensions of my understanding. And; yet, when I, in shame and defeat, finally surrender myself to the knowledge that I am unable to on-hands-and-knees or with the feebleness of my natural perceptions find my way out of my circumstances, it is then that I call out to Papa God and he begins to allow me to see through his eyes the “God-reality” and boundless possibilities that abound in realms beyond my perception. That is when I take his offered hand and he leads me from the chamber/circumstances that held me captive.

The more beautiful telling of this story is one that I am beginning to experience in my own life, one in which I, with eyes wide-open, walk into the chamber with an open-expectation, fascination, and an eagerness for whatever God-inspired events/behavior/purposes emerge…where I am able to fully trust from entrance to exit that God’s purposes will be fulfilled within me and within his Kingdom.

With such boundless expectations and an inner-resolve to be stretched beyond our limited perceptions, it is enormously awe-inspiring to imagine the possibilities!

Secretly being Liberal, ahem, I mean Progressive...

I rarely mention politics because it can get ugly fast and rarely makes any friends. However, if you can step out of your opinions/convictions for just a second and just laugh at some of the truths in this blog, I think you'll enjoy it...don't agree or disagree, just be amused...

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/07/secretly-being-liberal/

And my fave comment...

I'm somewhat more conservative than liberal, although I certainly listen to NPR (except Ira Glass, his voice is like a freshman at a college radio station) and am sick of the culture war politics and right-wing talk radio is only rivaled in annoyingness by Sojo ;)

Still, here's a few things I noticed Liberal Evangelicals like (and I like some of these too, I'll happily admit). ... See More

- Saying "God is not a Republican," conceding to add "nor a Democrat" if pushed.
- Begrudgingly admitting that Bush did a stellar job with his AIDS initiatives in Africa.
- Jim Wallis
- Watching Fox News, Complaining about Fox News
- Derek Webb
- Social Justice, endlessly arguing about exactly what "Social Justice" is.
- Begrudgingly admitting that Rick Warren's got a good sense of missions and social justice
- Thinking about being Catholic up until the point they talk about celibacy and birth control.
- Billy Graham (because he's a Democrat, and he seems to like all the Presidents equally)
- Portraying Mormon Glen Beck, Catholic Sean Hannity, and lapsed mainliner Rush Limbaugh as representatives of conservative Evangelicalism.
- Bono
- Francis Collins (me, too -- he rocks! Yay for Obama for nominating him.)

'Nuff Said...

I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law (wo)man" so that I could be God's (wo)man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.
---Galatians 2:19-21

I will persevere...

"It's not enough to have a dream unless I'm willing to pursue it. It's not enough to know what's right unless I'm strong enough to do it. It's not enough to join the crowd, to be acknowledged and accepted. I must be true to my ideals, even if I'm excluded and rejected. It's not enough to learn the truth unless I also learn to live it. It's not enough to reach for love unless I care enough to give it."-Anonymous

Do you ever feel completely peerless? I sure do. Especially lately...I've been feeling really disconnected. I have always been a person with a thousand acquaintances and very few close friends; but, recently, even my few close relationships feel more distant and obscured. I know that a lot of it is the season of life that I am in. Raising toddlers keeps you at a disadvantage socially and relationally...goodness, even my husband and I don't get the time together we'd like. Many of my closest friends are hundreds of miles away; however, it seems to be a little more than that. Sometimes I wonder if I haven't become a bit jaded in friendships, I am more suspecting of people's motives and more cautious in the sharing of the intimacies of close friendships such as, confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and the degree of honesty or openness.
I can't tell you the number of times in my life I've heard, "Don't you ever slow down? Do you over-analyze everything? Don't you know how to have fun? Do you ever put down the books, newspaper, dictionary, etc.? Don't you ever quit being serious?" And while I know these people weren't friends and failed to understand the uniqueness the Father gave me, their voices still echo somewhere in my mind and make me wonder if those are the reasons I'm in this place in my life. It's really ridiculous the depths to which people/the enemy will stoop to destroy a person. So, while I know that people reject what they don't understand and that the greatest challenge for people is relating to what's different, I still struggle with this inner dialogue.
It's strange, though, that I don't feel these things with God right now, I actually feel closer to Him than ever. Makes me feel like I'm having my own Island of Patmos experience (Patmos is where the apostle John was exiled and ended up writing his contributions to the New Testament). So, while there is a certain degree of loneliness in my life, I don't feel all alone...just peerless. I have my husband, I have mentors, teachers, and, most importantly, my heavenly Father. I don't mean to diminish the awesomeness of these relationships or the gratefulness I have for them, I'm just craving some good old-fashioned girl time. Does that make me shallow? Doubtfully.
I haven't found an immediate solution to these feelings, issues, whatever you want to call them, I've just found that I know that there is a purpose being served during this season. I think I'm learning to accept the unique character, personality traits and giftings my Father gave me. I'm redefining myself in Him and for the purpose of His kingdom instead of the box people are always trying, and failing, to shove me into. And I am learning, learning, learning about authenticity, truth, and what it means to REALLY love people! So these things encourage me along with some other more personal, yet God-directed, pursuits. I am determined to get past my insecurities and fear of failure. And I will persevere...




I am not one for super hard-core rock very often at all. The lyrics to this song grabbed me...even if they may not suit me perfectly, I know they must someone.

Hatebreed's "Perseverance" Lyrics

I know your fear of loss
And your struggles with faith
And how it takes everything that you have to face the day
The virtues you possess now bring you eternal pain
All you have is contempt for a life you can't obtain
All your heroes have failed you
Yet you try and prevail
Face your torment and dismantle your doubt
Refuse this legacy of shame and deceit
Cause the only real truth in your life that you know is hostility

Your world is coming apart
Remain steadfast

Perseverance
Against all opposition
Crushing all limitations
Pure strength through solitude
Discipline and determination

You can't accept what you've been told
Anchored in sin you must reverse your descent
Declare the weight of the world has yet to claim you
And admit that your faults will not restrain you
Glimpses of fate bring light to your despair
Realise hope isn't short of your grasp
Resurrect every dream that you've buried alive
And never succumb to the war that you fight in your heart

Your world is coming apart
Remain steadfast

Perseverance
Against all opposition
Crushing all limitations
Pure strength through solitude
Discipline and determination

The Keeper

I've been digging through some of my old writings...looking for something specific (which I still haven't found because I'm easily distracted by all the other things...such as old radio ads I wrote and voiced, essays from high school and college, and even some old notes passed in class, etc.). I did find this; however, and I am astounded that even at the tender age of sixteen I had a passion for love over correction/judgment. I think I've always resented someone who'd rather serve as God's police officer rather than an on-staff doctor/healer. And I know I've always celebrated people who love to celebrate others. That's probably why I was attracted to the teachers I admired in school...their characters tended toward encouragement, inspiration, and nurturing vs. constant correction or disappointment...But, I digress. I hope you enjoy this poem from 16 yr. old Beth.



May 9, 1999

The Keeper

Gentle creature of an endearing kind,
flutters through the spacious blue sky.
Grace surrounds it, an aura of light,
the colors of dawn trace its flight.
In a field of colorful jewels it lands,
and the petal on which it rests never bends.
I sit there content to watch it rest,
and with a certain thought my mind is pressed.
"Such a beautiful creature of sweet perfection
was not always so," says my mind in correction.
An unattractive creature it once was,
slow, clumsy, and covered with fuzz.
But when the time of its adolescence ended,
out of a cocoon came the creature God intended.
"From a sluggish creature to one full of grace."
I thought with understanding shown on my face.
So many people are much like this small wonder
but others on that thought do not often ponder.
They dismiss these potentially beautiful beings,
without thought and blinded to what the Creator is seeing.
An unfinished masterpiece into a work of art;
but, instead, they ignore the call of His heart.
I look up to see it flutter away,
but with my thoughts I am content to stay.
What a tragedy to see such a creature leave,
yet renewed in my heart is a purpose so deep.
I do not wish to impede a life of such beauty
for to see to their protection is my God-given duty.
With a purpose in my heart I up and stroll away.
feeling a paradigm shift has occurred on this day.
Yet I ask, "Will I fail in my purpose and can I succeed,
and will you help me and begin to plant a small seed.
Let not one creature whose season of change has not come
be discouraged or defeated by those whose hearts are numb.
Encourage and protect these undeveloped creatures.
Be their support, their mentors, and their teachers.
For one day when you briefly glance away
a nearly divine transformation will take place.
That sluggish creature and seeming object of duty,
will become a gloriously wing-ed beauty.
And, freely, it too will fly away,
and there will be no sorrow felt on that day.
For you were its keeper in its time of need,
and your joy will be full for you planted the seed."

Garage-Kept

Today I was thinking about how many of my friends consider themselves to have a relationship with God and yet they choose not to attend a church. I get that, I really do, because I understand the politics, the drama, and the overall ritualistic nature of the church scene that can make such a commitment feel like an empty and pointless pursuit. I’ve heard thousands of excuses and added a few of my own to the mix at some points in my life. I also was thinking about the church crowd and how very many of them are nothing more than pew warmers putting in their time so they can give themselves a pat on the back for being a good “Christian” boy or girl and then leave toting with them an attitude of superiority and a lifestyle of hypocrisy.

We’ve all heard said that going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than sitting in a garage makes you a car, and I’ll agree with that. I’d like to take this analogy a little further; however, and say that most of us would also agree that a garage-kept car is in much better shape than one who that is continuously facing the elements and rarely sees TLC from its owner or a professional mechanic. So, while there are cars that become nothing more than show pieces only occasionally rolling out of their garages to grace us with their magnificence and looking down at us from their sleek and shiny frames and all the while getting the same bug guts all cars get caught in their grills, there are also the cars that are never given shelter from the grueling heat or cold, who have enjoyed no respite from the miles and miles that they’ve traveled, and do not have anyone who cares enough to give their gears an oiling or their engines a tune-up. Neither car is enjoying its purpose to its fullest potential, one is mostly leisure-driven and ineffectual and the other may run just fine in the beginning yet will not last over time.

The best-running car is one that is garage kept but puts in its miles. It is babied with regular fluid fills and its gears are soothed with oil. It has regular visits with its mechanic and it takes its tune-ups like a champ. It gives and has been given jumps from a fellow vehicle. It has someone cares enough to scrub off the road dirt, change the tires, and even occasionally point out and help remove the bug guts. This car will stand the test of time…no matter its make, model, or year.

The most effective and flourishing Christian is one that has found themselves a good fit church-wise (keep in mind, there are no perfect people on this planet and that means no perfect churches, pastors, or church members…even the best of friends, coworkers, and family members experience points of contention, personality conflicts, and even the occasional falling-out) and becomes faithful to participate and to give of themselves to learn, grow, and help others, in and out of the church, to do the same. This Christian knits themselves with a few honest and caring individuals who will support them in the tough times that come in life, who will pour words of comfort and love over their aches, and who can give wisdom, understanding, agreement in prayer, and have a knowledge of God’s word and His heart. This Christian also receives “tune-ups” from his friends and leaders like a champ. Tune-ups refer to any sort of correction, redirection, or challenge issued in love for the betterment of the Christian and the Kingdom of God. This Christian is a life-giver and gives as good as he/she gets in the most positive of ways!

(Remember that every person who walks into a mechanic’s place cannot work on a car, not every employee will work on your car when you leave it, and the head mechanic may only delegate the work so that all cars can be tended to…it is an unrealistic expectation to believe that you can seek help, close friendships, counsel, and/or support from every member or leader in your church. A pastor is only one person and cannot possibly attend every momentous life event of every member and their immediate family’s lives, he is not perfect, or without sin…go ahead and accept this and it will save you and him/her a lot of heartache. Another disclaimer that should come on the bottom of church membership cards is that you will get hurt, and you will be offended. If you rationalize that there are only 4 or so people in the average American family and the dynamics of that people group alone are enough to keep psychiatrists, psychologists, pastors, counselors, social workers, etc. in business until the end of time, then imagine a group of 50+ people joined together sharing life’s sorrows, joys, and celebrating, learning, and teaching one another about the most vital and important relationship we will know, our relationship with God. There will be conflict, there will be tears, there will be pain…but if you can accept that and move on to making a commitment to working through those things there will be resolution, redemption, healing, and GROWTH. If you really live connected to the Father within those relationships, there will also be JOY, unspeakable and full of GLORY!)

This Christian understands that we are relational and we thrive when we are empowered by one another. This Christian understands that we were not meant to do life or Christianity alone and that church was designed to bring Christians together to spur one another on, to sharpen one another, and to hold one another accountable. This Christian knows that he needs the fellowship, teaching, “tune-ups,” encouragement, and support that coming together regularly (aka Church) brings. This Christian will stand the test of time…no matter their social class, their family history, their looks, their education, their gifting, or their age.

This “Garage-Kept” Christian will stand the test of time!

Why blog? Because words are powerful...

Words are powerful. My favorite book, the only book to be made flesh, says that there are life and death in the power of the tongue. So, I don't take blogging, writing, or any words from my mouth lightly. I make an effort to ensure that every word I speak over my marriage, children, and future is positive and life-giving…though humor, sarcasm, and even complete nonsense have their place. Although, I have a tendency for humor that lets me laugh for a minute but leaves me thinking for much longer.

I described myself recently to a friend as being motivated by the Holy Spirit and God's creativity; infected with a passion for big dreams and fresh vision; and not the least bit concerned with what's traditional, with dead rituals, or the latest religious fear tactic. I am driven by a passion for the kingdom of God, uncompromising in my Faith and my relentless pursuit of Truth (with a capital 'T') and by a fierce need to see Christians reflecting God’s love to the world...this occasionally leads to some friction between myself and others. And I remain unapologetic concerning my faith; yet; I pray that you feel that I've considered your view and treated you with the respect you deserve.

My prayer is that in your reading something that I have written it will resound within you and bring you closer to our Father (the way, truth, and life.) I can't bear the thought of your living without the love that is beyond all comparison and the joy that supersedes all circumstances...This is bigger than me and much more than pretty words, this is reality and the most unbelievable of dreams made real.

I pray you'll see that my life is a testimony to that...